


It takes strength to resist the dark side

by ObsessionFandom



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Kenobi - John Jackson Miller, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Obi-Wan Kenobi on Tatooine, Other, Post-Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Sad, obiwanneedsahug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:20:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29206524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObsessionFandom/pseuds/ObsessionFandom
Summary: Obi-Wan Kenobi was a man known by many names:MasterGeneralJedi knightbut never did he think failure would be one.After the confrontation on Mustafar and seclusion on Tatooine Obi-Wan reflects on the past and everything that happened in his life trying to pinpoint where it was that he failed his brother and what will face him.One shot, first fanfic on obi wans first person thoughts after the events of episode 3. Hope you enjoy :)
Kudos: 5





	It takes strength to resist the dark side

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is my first fanfic and i just love star wars and especially Obi-Wan Kenobi so i could not resist

Obi-Wan Kenobi had lost everything throughout his life. 

A caring and Venerable master, 

the strong-willed love of his life, 

betrayed by the clones he has trusted with his life,

The Jedi order, his only family and life he had ever known.

But the one that stung the most was the loss of Anakin Skywalker and betrayal of Darth Vader. His closest ally, best friend and his brother. Walking onto Mustafar and seeing the dark side possess Anakin and from that moment on it finally sunk in what he had no choice and needed to do.

What he had to do was harsh. Dismembering and leaving him to burn alive was certainly harsh. He tried to remind himself that to kill him defenceless was not the Jedi way. But the reality was that he just couldn't bring himself to do it. How could he? He couldn't kill his former padawan that he had trained since he was a small boy and formed a close bond with. It was a cowardly decision not to be merciful but he didn't have the mental strength to carry out the final blow. The release of emotion that had been building up since order 66 was released in a way that scared the Jedi. The desperation, shock and devastation he felt when he shouted at Anakin came out like it never had before. As a Jedi he was supposed to suppress his emotions but within that moment all his years of training were obliterated in an instant. 

What did it matter anyway? The Jedi order was gone, they were all but extinct and he had no choice but to go into hiding. His life had no meaning anymore and he wanted Anakin to feel that. The smallest part of him hoped his pleas would bring Anakin back to the light. But as soon as his chastising was finished he stared upon Anakins piercing yellow eyes that small part of hope was broken when he screamed.

"I hate you"

It was then Obi-Wan was defeated. Broken. He hasn't won this battle not in the slightest and he realised this man in front of him wasn't the one he knew. This was someone far worse, someone beyond his help and someone he has helped to create despite his best efforts. The last time Obi-Wan saw Anakin was on Coruscant. The last words he uttered

"Goodbye old friend, may the force be with you"

That was Anakin. That was his brother. That was who he loved.

And so he told the shell of a person in front of him as if it were Anakin what he would've say to Anakin. Something he should have expressed more often.

"You were my brother Anakin, I loved you"

And he left.

Obi-Wan thought through everything in his dusty hut on Tatooine. All memories as a Jedi knight rolling as a video film in his head. His life as a Padawan, General, Master. His achievements, victories and the good times. He wished he could have it back, he wanted it so bad, he wanted to relieve those memories again. Hell, he even missed Asajj Ventress and their shameless flirting before the lightsabers clashed. He wished he could prevent any recent events from transpiring. But more than anything one specific thought plagued his mind, overshadowing his happy memories.

He had failed.

He had failed his master Qui-Gon with his teachings. Had he have been more willing to see Anakin the way Qui-Gon did or perhaps took Anakin as he padawan because ehe believed he was the chosen one and not because Qui-Gon wished it on his dying wish, would he have succeeded? Would this all have been prevented? Was it his teaching methods, his inability to understand Anakin or his attempt at keeping the boy at arms length and trying to prevent himself getting close to the boy which so obviously failed? Did that lead to unreal expectations, confusing and hypocritical ideals that led to internal conflict within Anakin? Either way, he had some part to play in this tragedy. 

He failed Anakin.

He looked down at his robes, battered, ripped and covered in the sweat and dirt fresh from the battle. His eyes flickered down and he held his own lightsaber in his hand. His thumb tracing over the metal switch and intently staring at the weapon. His weapon. The one he used to disarm Anakin.

All the battles and countless times this weapon had saved his own life and the lives of others and yet now looking at it only brought shame.

Obi-Wan had never felt like this before. A feeling bubbling and gnawing inside forced him to throw the lightsaber against a wall and yell. Almost immediately his eyes widened and he was took aback with his actions. The anger that swelled inside made him feel indestructible in that moment. Almost as if....

In that moment Kenobi dropped to the floor and buried his face into his arms and cried. The tears wouldn't stop flowing, he couldn't control it and didn't have the strength to calm himself. The huge release on the dam of his emotions felt immense and he needed it. After years of suppressing himself from indulging in these emotions he got drunk on the feeling. Breathing intense and clutching at his robes at he desperately tried to regain his head.

Eventually he started to calm his inner self. Become more at peace and meditate to regain all control that was just lost. With the control he gained he also remembered something with a clearer head.

Like he said to Maul before Satine was cruelly murdered before his eyes "It takes strength to resist the dark side, only the weak embrace it". The thought echoed in his head and it was then he lifted his head and stood up. he pulled his lightsaber to him using the force and looked at it again. He wouldn't give into the dark side. Skywalker may have but he wasn't easily pushed. He has endured just as much as Anakin but he stuck to his principles, the Jedi code and now wasn't about to be different.

No, he hadn't lost it all. He had a new purpose now, one more important than any mission during his time as a Jedi. He had to look over young Luke Skywalker and had to protect him best he could. He had his insecurities but he wasn't going to let these feelings dissuade him from achieving his goal. He was a Jedi, he would not give into hate or suffering because he was stronger than that.

He had a Job to do. A job for a Jedi knight. 

Anakin may have been the chosen one, but that didn't mean he was the only hope.

He wasn't going to fail another Skywalker.

Not this time.


End file.
